Can Anything Positive Come From Our Mistakes?
You're not going to be perfect as a parent but what should you expect from your mistakes? The following two examples should encourage you:
A naval engineer Richard James was trying to develop a spring that would support and stabilize sensitive equipment on ships. When one of the springs accidentally fell off a shelf, it continued moving, and James got the idea for a toy. His wife came up with the name…slinky.
Play-Doh was accidentally invented by Joseph and Noah McVicker while trying to make a wallpaper cleaner.
I remember when we were having a house built and we got to pick out everything. I picked white carpet! It didn’t look white on the postage size sample the builder had me pick from and there are a lot of variations of white lest you judge me. But when I walked into the house my jaw fell to the floor. We had three kids when we moved in and I was stressing over it. One day I saw a trail of red juice from one end of the house to the next. I demanded a victim and my daughter confessed. I remember holding her face to the carpet screaming, “Do you see what you did? Do you see this mess?” And my daughter who trusted me 100% said in a muffled voice, “Mommy, I can’t see cause my face is IN the carpet.” Up to that point I had been rational and predictable with my course of correction. Of course! She was only trying to do what I had asked of her. I felt sick! I immediately picked her up, hugged her and humbled myself.
Bring It Home
When you mess up, try, "I was wrong, I spoke too soon or please forgive me for (in my case) being angry with you."
If you need time to decompress or are not sure of the correction simply say, “Let me think about this.”
If your child is a little older, engage them in the correction, "I need to correct you for this. What do you think we should do?" Often they are more severe wtih the correction than you would be and are motivated to carry it out since it was thier idea.
With these words of humility you are being honest, restoring a possible broken relationship, earning respect and being seen as approachable and fair. It just might surprise you that by accident you created something more valuable than a toy. You created trust. Enjoy the feast and Happy Thanksgiving! Janis & Susan
